Thursday, October 11, 2012

Because things aren't always so easy.

*this has nothing to do with my post. Like at all. 

So right after I post my blog on following God's call into ministry... I get the news that classes super don't mesh with my work schedule.
Satan really has his ways of messing plans up, doesn't he?

I allowed myself to be stressed for a little while yesterday. I kept thinking, "what am I going to do? Am I going to have to quit my job? Where will I work? What the heck am I thinking?" My thoughts were one big jumbled mess with stressed out phone calls to my parents (which weren't too helpful because neither had advice for me).

I totally had one of those "church camp highs" after writing that blog post the other day. I felt super inspired and I couldn't wait to go back to school. I was excited. Since when am I ever excited about school?! And now I'm back to square one.
I talked with Blake about this for a while yesterday. I'm okay with waiting until my work schedule allows me to go to school more often (the schedule for JRLC is 8:30-3 Monday through Thursday). I'm totally fine with that plan... sure, it puts me back a few semesters, but I'm okay with that. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not a traditional college student (and I think my parents have come to terms with it as well).
And as much as I am okay with this, and I know that both my parents and Blake understand the situation I'm facing, it troubles me that some people will see the surface of the situation and automatically judge me for not being in school, and what's more - getting married before I'm even out of college. This has been a touchy subject for me. I don't care what people that I'm not close to think of me, because I know that they don't always know the full story/situation... but I also don't have the thickest of skin, and it does hurt when people make false assumptions.
I wish I didn't have to make the choice between working and going to school. I wish that it was easy enough to do both. But with this school choice that I've made... it's not that easy. I have to choose one or the other.

So. While I'm not starting school in January, I'm aiming for next fall.
It sounds so far away. But it'll be here before I know it. Prayers, thoughts, and encouragement are greatly appreciated. This is something that I'm struggling with a lot right now... I just wish life was a bit simpler sometimes.

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